As another weekend wraps up, I hope it was an okay one for all who read this. I would really love to tell you it was amazing for me but that would not be the honesty that I try to share. It was simply okay and that is enough. It had some amazing moments and some tearful ones. It had me feeling confident and also feeling lost and vulnerable. One thing that became apparent to me is that my idea of a tapestry is not a new one for me, as I looked back at my social media posts, I saw it even more clearly. There were times I felt so alone this weekend and times my amazing network of family and friends supported me again. There were times when being alone is all I wanted and times when being alone made me cry and fall apart. This weekend I talked with God often. I have stopped asking him why but what. What does he want me to learn, what is my purpose, what can I do to help those in my life that are suffering and feeling loss, what am I going to do next?

As I listened to and read his word this weekend, it started to become clear that I need to slow down and wait. It’s kinda funny that after I went to see TOP GUN MAVERICK I began think about how much not only my appearance but my life has changed since 1986. How Tom Cruse really aged well and I began to think did I? I wasn’t thinking about appearance, but in my walk with God have I aged well? The answer is probably somewhere between Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer. There are times I felt all put together in my walk much like a perfect hair day, then there were others with hair styles that are kind of like what were you thinking. (it will grow). You see often through the years I have only leaned on God when trouble came, then there were others where I was on fire for the Lord and could not get enough. Why was that? I have wondered that a lot lately. I have also wondered why God chose to never give up on me.

I searched at some of my social media posts and found that even in those times in my life where I was making crazy mistakes, I was stressed about life, I was feeling like God was far away, he was always on my mind. He is walked with me through every trial, every victory and every ordinary day. Some of my posts from long ago truly show the tapestry that God has been weaving in my life. Looking to past feelings often reminds you God was there. I am going to share few with you and let you all in on a secret that there may be a book on its way. “Tapestry” It has been something I have pondered for years, and this year has given me the push I need to truly consider this challenge. The book will be the amazing story of an ordinary girl with an extraordinary God who and the tapestry he created out of everyday events. More to come on that soon.

For now, let’s look at a couple of posts that have meant a great deal to me as I look back and simply lean on my past to remember God has held on to me.

June 2014 “As I sat at the beach this morning, all I could think about was how the vastness of the ocean resembles God. Mighty and beautiful at the same time. Powerful but gentle enough at times. Something to be feared, respected, and loved. Then I thought of each of us in comparison to the ocean. We are but broken shells like the ones you find early in the morning cast upon the beach. Each one a different size and shape. Some with jagged edges, some smooth, some vary in color in color, some more broken than others, but all very small compared to the mighty ocean. I pondered how that is really how it is supposed to be. Us bringing our broken pieces to God’s shores for only he can make us complete.”

Oct 2017-

“Sitting here looking at the beautiful Assateague Lighthouse reflecting on God’s word and thinking more than ever he is the beacon we need. Lighthouses serve to show dangerous coastlines, hazardous reefs but also safe entries into harbors. That is exactly what Jesus is to each of us who trust him. He warns us of dangers but offers us a harbor of safety. He doesn’t promise us things will always be easy but for those who trust him all things work together for good. In the darkness of this world sometimes we need to take time to reflect and thank Jesus for being our true lighthouse!!

Summer 2018-

“Reflection from the final day of our vacation- as I sit here and read from God’s word, I am reflecting on all the fun we had, the laughs, talks and all the little adventures, but I am also reflecting on all the time spent encouraging Annie. (Kyle’s puppy) This was her first really long trip since being very tiny. I couldn’t help but think about how much we are like puppies- they can have an entire room full of puppy toys and then become distracted by the shoe they want but can’t have. They want to climb that one place they have been told not to, escape out the door to explore when if they had just waited a second, they would be going on a fun adventure that would be more fun than they even knew. How many times in one day can you say “no Annie?” Let me tell you more than you realize. I can’t help but think God must sometimes feel the same way about me- he gives me blessing upon blessing, stays by when things are hard but sometimes I am like the puppy. I don’t understand he knows what is best and I try to go it alone. My prayer is that we all remember to follow God’s word and remember his guidelines help us thrive to be all that he created us to be and best fulfill our role in his perfect plan.

These three posts that I have shared show a couple of things; I always try to come back to the Lord no matter what silly stupid thing I have done, and I love to write and reflect. I guess they also show I am in desperate need of the ocean. 🙂

The purpose of this blog today is to remind us that when we look back at our past God’s hand has protected you from things we don’t even know, he has held us in our darkest hour, and he wants to be included in all we do. He teaches us even when we are seemingly unteachable, just take a minute to reflect on your past and see what God was teaching you for today. I can honestly say that looking back has helped me realize he has never and never will leave me. His love is unbreakable and so real for us that it is almost something we can’t comprehend.

Remember the God that created and controls the Ocean loves you with more power than even the ocean has.

Bless each of you reading. I appreciate your support and encouragement as I muddle through this crazy thing called life.