Hope you all had a great week. With it being Holy Week, I hope everyone is taking time to reflect on just what all this really means. As a Christian I don’t ever want to take it for granted, I want to share it with everyone. I realize each day there are many ways for me to show Jesus and the gospel message to others. I just sometimes don’t take advantage of my divine appointments.

Last night I had the privilege to attend a multi-church event held at Grace Christian Fellowship. At least eight churches came together setting aside there “non-essential” theological differences to worship the most essential JESUS. The service was very moving for me in ways I didn’t expect. I did have to read scripture up front, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. The crazy part is, I wasn’t nervous about reading the scripture because even if I messed up God’s word would shine through my mistakes and stuttering. My big fear was the three steps up and three steps down with candles on both sides. I was simply praying don’t let me fall, knock over the candles and start the church on fire. This may seem like a farfetched worry to some, but if you know me just saying…… This is where my head was right before going up to speak, but you know what … God held on to me and got me up and down safely just as he has been doing every day this year.

As I sat there taking in each of the songs, and scripture readings I looked around and saw so many people and felt great comfort in witnessing that many people who love the Lord coming together to worship and thank him.

The songs each made me cry as I reflected on the pain and suffering that went into that sacrifice. The most amazing thing to me is that Jesus knew just how sinful people of his time were and just how sinful future generations would be, and he was still willing to take it all on to offer us the WAY to reconcile with God and gap the brokenness.

This bridge between brokenness and the peace that only God can offer is something I realize I have taken for granted as a Christian. This year has taught me so much. As I sat there, tears began to fall down my cheeks as I reflected on just what God has brought me through and the miricale it was that I was sitting in that pew, willing to attend alone and get up in front to read. The fact that I was confident enough to meet new people and reconnect with others was a huge step in my healing process. Realizing that “my sins are many, but his Mercy is more” was something that struck me right in the face last night. Jesus loved me enough to face the cross and the torment that I deserve. Because he did that, it seems a little ungrateful or even arrogant to hold on to things and keep punishing myself for things that I have done that I cannot change. By doing so I am making myself larger than Jesus and that is just not where I want to be. I realized that truly worshiping Jesus and having a relationship with him involves accepting the gift of Mercy and the sacrifice of Grace that he offers. Loving Jesus makes us strive to be the best we can be, but without his Grace the bar is simply too high. It is insurmountable that we could ever even expect to be good enough, yet that is where I stall myself each time. I cling to mistakes and self-doubt when in fact Jesus wants us to experience true forgiveness and move forward serving him the best we can.

As I sit here today and think about the pain, torment and humiliation Jesus faced on what we call Good Friday, I am enterally grateful for that gift and I am going to try as hard as I can to honor it by forgiving myself as he forgives me. I told a close friend that I am at a crossroads in my life and “I just don’t know what I want to do when I grow up,” but it becomes clearer to me every day that whatever steps I take I want to be serving Jesus. If that can’t be full time ministry right now, I am praying God will use my spiritual gifts to honor him in all I do.

One thing I mentioned in an earlier blog is that before moving into this house I prayed it would be used to glorify God. When the divorce came, you all know from reading my posts that I was questioning God and his non-answer to my prayer. There have been many times lately that while the answer didn’t come with a bow on it and in the way I thought it would, my home is being used for just that. Thursday nights a ladies bible study happens that has deepened many friendships. Tomorrow I will be having people in for EASTER and honoring the Lord for his gift of grace. I am willing to open my doors to anyone who needs a friend or meal and through that God is using me right now while I decide what I want to do. (Funny how God works in spite of us and our circumstances)

Until I get techy enough to figure out how to get the link to share here, I encourage each person reading this page to go to YOUTUBE and search “Hs Mercy is More – Keith and Kristyn Getty,” close your eyes and take it in as you listen because it speaks the truth to your heart and for me that is exactly what I needed this Easter season.

My prayer for me this week is that I will be more open to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and for my readers that you will feel the blessing, grace and forgiveness Jesus faced the Cross for. For both of us my prayer is that the three steps up and three steps down will never cause us enough fear not to move forward for Jesus.

Happy Resurrection Sunday tomorrow!!!