I have been promising a blog post for over a week, and to be honest it has been hard to write, because I have not felt worthy to try to inspire others. I have been doing a great deal of reflecting on the way in which I handle things and to be honest I am not always proud of my choices and actions. I have been studying the women at the well lately in my devotions and it is a story that reminds me that Jesus had compassion on the Samaritan women in spite of her flaws. Jesus had enough Grace to meet her where she was. Once I read this story, I was reminded that to be an inspiration we do not need to be perfect, make perfect choices or act perfectly. The inability to see past my own flaws is something I am working on. I have a great deal of patience with others but not with myself. As I read the bible, I am reminded that God did not look for perfect people to work out his plan he used the broken. There was a song this morning that resonated with me more than I can explain.

I encourage everyone to check out Olivia Lane- Woman at the Well on You Tube.

The words of this song really touched me this morning.

Many times, during the past few weeks I felt like I was running and yet I was not sure where I was headed. I have had all sorts of emotions and worries. As the time drew near for my MS treatments to start, I became more and more anxious which for me translates into more and more determined to get a lot done. I took all of my nervous energy and poured it into cleaning and getting my house in shape in case I could not do it after Thursday. I realized at one point when I broke down and cried alone that I was really scared. I felt like I was processing my diagnosis for the first time. I know I had thought about it before but really until the last week or so I had not had time to really understand how it was impacting me. I pulled myself together as I have had great practice doing and moved forward in this race I have been faced with. As I left for the treatment monitoring at Upstate University Hospital, I said my goodbyes to my puppies with real tears in my eyes because there was a part of me that was extremely scared that my heart would not react well to the medications. I felt very anxious as I drove, but an amazing thing happened. I began to pray, and God gave me a peace that I can’t explain. I looked at the beauty of the freshly fallen snow and was reminded that Jesus died to do the same for us as the snow did for the earth. Covering the imperfections white as snow. I did well most of the day, the medications went well, and I got home safely. However, when it came time to go to bed last night, I became overwhelmed again and the tears started. I tried to have extra patience with myself and let the tears flow. I tell everyone this because in this race of life there are times when we feel okay, times when our stride feels right and others where we can barely hold it together. Each of these things is part of the race because each push us in a different way. The race of life is an endurance race and not a sprint. I hope that telling my story helps others to see that often in a race you have to pick yourself up and keep heading for the finish line.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week and are able to embrace where they are in their own race. If you are on bumpy roads, I pray you will be able to ride it out until the road smooths out again, I you are on a smooth path I hope you slow down and help another along the way. Let us run the race before us the best we possibly can.